Dear Marcel,
As I will not be able to attend the bfys meeting I send my
questions and comments ahead. You may be able to reply to some.
I am unsure if it's a good idea to push this out as a paper. I'd
rather make a CONF, wait for feedback from the community and
address issues.
Physics and General:
- In the whole paper only VELO tracks are discussed. How do you
get Q?
. You write of VELO tracks without describing the tracking. It
is not obvious to external readers that the tracking can be done
in the VELO only. You then need to explain how the momentum is
obtained.
- The fits in Fig.2 are catastrophically bad at low Q. You do not
mention this. How good are your fits in terms of Q2? The only
thing we learn from them is that your parameterisation is wrong.
- L.17: You write "several models" but refs 27-30 only cover two
sets of authors. Are the models in refs 28-30 different?
- L.17-20:we fail to understand this sentence. What is a "source
radius of particles"? Which _real_ size?
- Please describe the sample. It's 7 TeV data. What mu? Why did
you use 2011 and not low-mu 2010 data?
- You need to define no-bias and minimim-bias. Expand L.130-136.
In particular you do not say anywhere that minimum bias requires
one velo track.
- Do you really test the effect of the generator only by swapping
Pythia 8 and 6? What happens with other generators, as Herwig?
Line-by-line:
Abstract: Two times you write Bose-Einstein and once BEC, which
has not yet been defined. Either spell out three times or define.
L.6: what is "it"? What is the subject of exploiting? Please
rewrite this sentence.
L.8: remove "presence of"
L.11-12 either "at ... experiments" or "by ... collaborations"
L.21: suddenly a "we"
L.34: "as the reference sample" (?)
L.37: curiosity: "spherically symmetric" is defined oin which
reference frame?
L.41: the value of one -> unity
L.44: no colon
L.47: single-particle
L.52: Eq. (2)
L.56 and following: we do not use Monte-Carlo or MC to refer to
samples but only specifically to the method. In your case you can
remove all instances of Monte Carlo, sometimes replacing by
simulation.
L.58: A data-driven...
L.83: , a constant... is expected.
L.93: do not use "track" to mean "particle". Candidate can also be
used.
L.123: is it actively switched off, or just not included? If so
please say it.
L.141-143: There are standard sentences to express this. Please
use them.
L.151-156: This sentence is too long.
Fig.1: explain the cutoff at low multiplicities.
L.164: relative to what? They look absolute to us.
L.200: \pi\pi -> pion
L.212-215: This sentence is very vague. Which modifications?
L.228: The -> A
L.234: remove "outlined previously"
L.239: define "fairly", or remove
L.249: The double ratio is fitted again, and the largest
difference is taken..."
L.256: why 10 and 20%?
Table 1: align numbers
L.277: why "in terms of the BEC effect"?
Table 2: why give relative uncertainties? That's very unusual. You
have too many digits in 9.80 and 8.80. \pi\pi->pion
Fig.3 and 4: The mention of the centre of activity bin is
meaningless.
Sec.7: write in present tense.
L.289: "is used to determine"
[17] Does this paper on \Lz describe BEC effects?
Cheers,
Patrick
Given the title I am happy to volunteer, Patrick,When would you like to have it on the agenda of the bfys meeting, next week Friday?- Marcel
On 21 June 2017 at 12:14, Patrick Koppenburg <patrick.koppenburg@cern.ch> wrote:
Dear all,
A new paper is assigned to us. Anyone wants to collect comments on Bose-Einstein correlations?
(The title of the mail is a quote from the abstract).
Cheers,
Patrick
-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: First circulation of publication draft for PAPER-2017-025, Study of the Bose-Einstein correlations of same-sign charged pions at $\sqrt{s}=7$ TeV Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2017 03:52:01 +0000 From: fergus.wilson@stfc.ac.uk To: lhcb-general@cern.ch CC: LHCb-PAPER-2017-025-reviewers@ cern.ch
Dear Colleagues, A draft paper is available for your comments. This is targeting EPS. Team leaders, verify the author list and check for reading obligations of your group! Title : Study of the Bose-Einstein correlations of same-sign charged pions at $\sqrt{s}=7$ TeV Journal : JHEP Contact authors : Marcin_Kucharczyk, Bartosz_Malecki, Mariusz_Witek Reviewers : Stephen_Farry (chair), Stephen_Ogilvy EB reviewer : Fred_Blanc EB readers : Mitesh_Patel, Franco_Bedeschi Analysis note : ANA-2014-018 Deadline : 2-Jul-17 e-group : lhcb-paper-2017-025-reviewers Link : https://cds.cern.ch/record/2270741 Authors : LHCb Bartosz Malecki, Marek Jezabek Twiki : https://twiki.cern.ch/twiki/bin/view/LHCbPhysics/BEC2011 The following institutes are requested to make institutional comments: Roma_La_Sapienza__Roma__Italy NSC_KIPT__Kharkiv__Ukraine Rostock__Germany CBPF__Rio_de_Janeiro__Brazil NIKHEF__Amsterdam__The_Netherlands Syracuse__United_States Please send any comments via the CDS system. It is the responsibility of the contact authors to provide replies to all comments made. Subsequent modifications to the draft will be made in consultation with the reviewers and during the EB reading. Following this, there will be a final meeting of the editorial board, with contact authors and reviewers present, when final decisions will be made. As the last step, the collaboration will be given a final opportunity to comment during a 'silent approval' period. You can find all paper and conference report drafts open for comments via the EB web-page, by clicking on Current Drafts: http://lhcb.web.cern.ch/lhcb/ lhcb_page/collaboration/ Best regards, Fergus ------------------------------organization/editorial_board/ default.html ------------------------------ ------------------------ Fergus Wilson, PPD, Rutherford Appleton Laboratory, Harwell Campus, Didcot, Oxon, OX11 0QX, UK. Tel: +44-(0)1235 445259 Fax: +44-(0)1235 445672 CERN Tel: +41-22 76 77379 Skype: ferguswilson5259
_______________________________________________
Bfys-physics mailing list
Bfys-physics@nikhef.nl
https://mailman.nikhef.nl/mailman/listinfo/bfys-physics
-- ======================================================================== Patrick Koppenburg Nikhef, Amsterdam http://www.nikhef.nl/~pkoppenb/#contact